This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help. You can contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Netflix’s latest docuseries, “The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox,” offers a revealing look behind the scenes of the Boston Red Sox. Among the interviews conducted during the 2024 season is a particularly poignant one with outfielder Jarren Duran, who experienced a remarkable All-Star campaign.
Duran’s interview delves into his struggles with mental health and the difficult periods he faced earlier in his career. He candidly discussed his 2021 and 2022 seasons, detailing how they contributed to a deeply troubling episode.
“I was sitting in my room. I had my rifle, and I had a bullet, and I pulled the trigger, and the gun clicked, but nothing happened.”
Duran has previously spoken about his mental health challenges, stemming from the pressure of not meeting expectations within the organization early in his big league career. He recounted what he perceived as a divine intervention during that moment.
“To this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off. I took it as a sign of, ‘I might have to be here for a reason,’ so that’s when I started to look myself in the mirror after the gun didn’t go off…I was like, ‘Do I want to be here, or do I not want to be here? That happened for a reason, and obviously you’re here for a reason, so let’s be the way you want to be and play [the way] you want to play and live the way you want to live.’”
Duran described feeling isolated while hearing criticism from fans in the outfield during games. He recalled hearing comments instructing him to return to Triple-A Worcester, among other harsh remarks that exacerbated his feelings of despair.
“I was already hearing it from fans,” he shared. “And what they said to me, [it was like], ‘I’ve told myself 10 times worse in the mirror.’ That was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore.”
His performance statistics reflect this challenging period:
- 2021: .215/.241/.336 with a .578 OPS over 33 games, including three doubles, two triples, and two home runs.
- 2022: .221 with three home runs and 17 RBI over 58 games (204 at-bats).
However, Duran demonstrated remarkable resilience and improvement in subsequent seasons:
- 2023: .295/.346/.482 with 34 doubles, eight home runs, and 40 RBI over 102 games.
- 2024 (so far): Hitting .239 (11-for-46) with two doubles, one triple and seven RBI over 10 games.
His career year in 2024 saw him lead MLB in several categories: doubles (48), triples (14), at-bats (671), and plate appearances (735). He also hit 21 home runs with 75 RBI, earning All-Star honors and MVP recognition after hitting a crucial home run in the American League’s victory.
Duran’s journey hasn’t been without its challenges. Last season, he faced a two-game suspension for using an anti-gay slur toward a fan, followed by a swift apology and commitment to personal growth.
Red Sox president and CEO Sam Kennedy released a statement emphasizing the significance of Duran’s openness:
“Jarren’s decision to share his story is an act of courage that reaches far beyond baseball. By opening up, he’s showing others who may be struggling that they’re not alone and that asking for help isn’t just OK, it’s essential.”
Kennedy further stated, “Every member of this organization continues to stand with him.”
